Not dead!

It's a bit embarrassing to see how long it's been since our last post. I can't say I have anything very sexy to post at the moment, so instead I'm going to write about why that is.

Todd and I started this blog while temporarily separated due to travel. Being away from home always sparks my libido, and it seems to be accentuated if Todd isn't with me - absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. Unfortunately, most of the time, my libido is nowhere near as strong as I'd like it to be.

It's kind of a difficult thing to come to terms with, because I used to think of myself as a very sexual person - as a teenager and then college student, I rarely lacked for desire (or partners). It was a great time, very exploratory and really just lots of fun. But over the last several years (I'm now in my mid-twenties) my baseline libido has been much lower, albeit with some excellent high points like the first 6-12 months of my relationship with Todd. So I really feel like I've lost something that used to be part of me. I know what I'm missing!

There's no shortage of possible explanations for this - stress, lack of novelty, medication, reaction to painful sex (long story), whatever. Lately I've been thinking that this is actually my real baseline, and the reason I used to be so much more sexual was the hormone storm of adolescence. But maybe I'm wrong.

This has been the subject of much thought, so I have a lot to say. More in future posts.

Bookstore, Part 2

We reach the car, you smirking and me trying to touch as much of you
as I can while walking. You open my door, since I'm not making any
moves in that direction, and instruct me to get inside.

As I sit down, I can feel the dildo sliding inside me. It's getting
awfully slippery down there. The pressure on the walls of my pussy is
very distracting; I can hardly think of anything besides you touching
me.

You get in and start the car. As you begin to drive, I lean over to
you and put one arm behind your neck, stroking your thigh with the
other hand. You feel so good... I slide my hand up your thigh,
brushing against your package. I can tell you're hard.

Suddenly you slap my hand away. "You need to learn to be more
patient," you say. "Besides, you don't want to make me crash."

I move my hand back to my own lap. Just as I start to brush my fingers
against my crotch, you grab my wrist. Hard. "No touching yourself,
either," you order me. I moan and arrange my hands on my knees, far
away from any of the parts I'd really like to touch. I look over at
you, admiring your chiseled face and sensuous lips, currently fighting
a grin. My gaze slides down, checking out your masculine chest and the
hint of softness at your belly. Lower, now, to the bulge in your
pants. I imagine opening them and pulling down your briefs, allowing
your cock to spring free.

I squirm in my seat, feeling the pressure of the dildo inside me. I
close my eyes and imagine that it's not plastic, but flesh - your hard
cock, warm and unyielding, filling me up and stretching my pussy to
its limits. My legs fall open and I move my hips involuntarily as I
fantasize about being fucked by you. It's so hard to keep from
touching myself, but I obey your instructions.

Soon we pull into the bookstore parking lot. As we walk inside, you
remind me: "Be good. You wouldn't want everyone in the store to know
what a dirty girl you are, would you?" I shake my head, but the motion
of walking is making me very aware of my wet, swollen pussy. I begin
to think that I won't care who sees us, as long as I get to fuck you
soon. The industrial carpeting on the floor is starting to look
awfully comfortable - I wouldn't mind a few rug burns.

We reach the smut section, and you seat yourself on a stepstool to
read. I try to crouch on the floor, but that narrows my pussy so that
the sensation is almost unbearable. I stand up instead, turn my back
on you, and choose a book randomly. I flip through it, trying to read,
but I can't concentrate. I pick another book, which turns out to be a
Kama Sutra full of pictures. That's more my speed, and I slowly turn
the pages, mesmerized by the hot couples doing all the things I want
to do right now.

I move closer to you, so that my ass is just brushing your shoulder.
You don't respond, so I do it a little more while enjoying a
particularly hot picture. I'm suddenly shocked when you clamp your
left arm around my hips and use your right arm to pinch my ass, hard
enough to hurt. "I thought I told you to be good," you whisper,
keeping me pinned until I promise to behave myself.

You release me, but then whisper "come here." I move around to your
side, and you show me the book you're reading. "How does this look?"
you ask. It's very hot, and I say so. Of course, in my current
condition, anything would sound good, but I keep that to myself.

"What do you have?" you ask me, and I show you my book. "Mmm," you
say, flipping through a few pages. "I think we're all set. Ready to
go?" I bite my lip and nod enthusiastically.

You put your arm around me, steering me to the front of the store. One
finger slyly brushes the underside of my breast, and I melt against
you. I try to maintain decorum as you pay for our books, but I'm
pretty sure everyone in the store can see the hungry way I'm looking
at you.

As soon as we get into the car, I pounce on you. I pin your shoulders
back against the seat and kiss you greedily. "I want you. Right now!"
I insist, fumbling with your fly.

You push me away and start the car. "We're going home," you inform me.
I must look awfully disappointed. "But I will allow you to get started
now," you say, pulling your penis out from your briefs. I reach for it
immediately, stroking up and down the shaft, twirling my finger around
the head, and rubbing the pre-come up and down that really sensitive
spot.

Now it's your turn to moan and squirm. I bend down and lick the tip. I
can tell you're about to tell me not to do that, so I suddenly take
the whole shaft into my mouth. You moan and move your hips, making
sure that I have free access.

Luckily it's a short drive home, because I don't think we could make
it much longer. You slam the car into Park and we both rush inside. As
soon as we get inside the door, we start ripping each other's clothes
off. I try to remove my panties, but you make me keep them on.
"Wouldn't want your dildo to come out yet!"

I start to get down on my knees to continue sucking your cock, but you
pick me up and carry me into the bedroom. You lie on your back and
pull me on top of you in the 69 position. I'm happy with this, and
immediately go back to licking and sucking your cock. I can taste the
pre-come.

You slip my panties to the side and lick my clit. I almost fall over,
but you hold me up. You push on the base of the dildo, making it move
inside me. I moan with your cock in my mouth, and that makes you moan
too. Pretty soon, you push me back onto the bed and kneel in front of
me. You rip off my panties and grab the dildo. Just to tease me, you
give it a few last thrusts before sliding it out of me.

Suddenly I feel empty and bereft. I clutch at you, begging you to fuck
me. Instead, you casually rub my clit with your thumb while stroking
your own cock. I lie there whimpering with helpless desire, thrusting
my hips and twisting my hands in the sheets. "Please, honey, please, I
need you inside me," I beg. You give your cock a few more strokes -
just to make me wait - then enter me all at once.

I scream with pleasure. The fake cock kept me horny all evening, but
the real one feels so much better. I love having you inside me, and I
babble incoherent endearments as I clutch at your back and shoulders.
Oh god, it feels so good. I don't think I can wait very long to come.

The pleasure overtakes me, and I abandon myself to it. I'm dimly aware
that my head is buzzing and I can barely feel my fingers, but all I
care about is the feeling of your body slamming into mine. I dig my
fingers into your back as my orgasm starts to build. Suddenly you
start fucking me even harder, grunting with effort and desire. We
explode at the same time, our cries mixing in the quiet evening air.
You collapse on top of me, and I'm the happiest girl on earth.

Bookstore, Part 1

"Let's go to the bookstore tonight," I suggest. "I want to have a sexy
book to read while you're away on your trip."

"I like that idea," you respond. "But are you sure you're in the right mood?"

I look at you quizzically. I'm pretty damned horny, as you are fully
aware. You stare at me intently, then take my hand and lead me into my
bedroom. "I want to make sure you won't get distracted while we're
there."

You sit on the edge of the bed, leaving me standing in front of you.

"Take off your shoes and socks." I do.
"Now your shirt." Again, I follow orders.
"I want to watch you touch yourself."

I slip my fingers into the cup of my bra, brushing them against my
sensitive nipples. Mmm, that feels good. I reach back and unhook the
bra, letting it drop to the floor. Now I have easy access to my
breasts. I cup them in my hands, lifting them and feeling their
weight. I circle one nipple with a finger, then roll it between a
finger and thumb. I'm beginning to breathe heavily.

"Good girl. Take off your pants."

I do as I'm told, then resume touching my nipples with one hand, while
the other slips into my panties and strokes my clit. It's getting hard
to stand up.

You pull me onto the bed, push me down, and slip off my panties. You
slide your hand over my pussy. "You're very wet." I moan.

You lean over and kiss me, stroking my clit at the same time. I'm
getting very turned on, arching my hips toward you and making little
noises.

"Would you like something inside you?" you ask.
"Oh god, yes, please fuck me!"
"I didn't say I was going to fuck you, greedy girl. I want you to stay
turned on while we're out."

I had forgotten about the plan to go out. And I really want to be
fucked. "Please," I beg.

You open the nightstand drawer and pull out a soft dildo. You pour a
little lube on it and stroke it to spread the lube around. I watch,
fascinated.

Then you slowly, teasingly, slip the dildo inside me. It feels so good
to be full (though not as good as it would feel to be fucked). I moan
and squirm.

I realize you're no longer touching me. You're picking my panties up
off the floor and sliding them onto me. "Get dressed," you order me.
"With it still inside?" I ask.
"Yes. That's how I'm going to make sure you're suitably turned on
while we're out."

I dress clumsily. Every move I make lets me feel the dildo pressing
against the walls of my pussy. I don't think I'm going to make it very
long.

You take my hand and lead me to the car.

...to be continued...

"tangled up"

Lumpesse is one of my very favorite sex blogs. Today I happened to look back at the archives and found this post which I liked very much.

With each looping of the rope around my ankles or wrists, my heart beat faster and I felt myself getting wetter.

There was something delicious and utterly terrifying about what was going on. With my legs and arms finally bound I felt I had no outlet at all for my sexual energy. I felt like no more than a bundle of nerves and warm flesh at the mercy of J. I longed for him to touch me but I didn't dare to ask - in fact I apparently remained silent the entire encounter. I could swear I said a few things but J claims I just stared at his face the entire time.

It gets better.

Bonus: also getting to read about it from J's point of view.

News flash: vaginas matter too

Climactic research leads to seminal moment

The vaginally orgasmic women Freud saw as the epitome of sexual maturity came to be seen as aberrant. And those seeking advice about climaxing during coitus were told it wasn't likely to happen. Think clitoris, the therapists said, suggesting vaginal orgasm was a myth detracting women from the true source of their pleasure.

But now the vagina is making a comeback, with the fascinating discovery that some women with severed spinal cords still experience orgasm despite losing the clitoris-brain nervous connection. This led Rutgers, New Jersey, professors Barry Komisaruk and Beverly Whipple to spend the past few years tracking brain activity during sexual stimulation.

[...]

Sure, direct clitoral attention will remain the surest route to quick bliss for most women. But the new research shows the vagina is far from dead wood, but rather richly innovated and capable of detecting vibration, touch and pressure changes, particularly deep pressure.

As a vaginally orgasmic woman, this research doesn't surprise me. Clitoral and vaginal orgasms feel different to me, with the vaginal variety being more intense and visceral. It's difficult for me to have one alone due to reach and coordination issues, so masturbation is usually about the clitoris. On the other hand, it's very rare for a partner to be able to bring me to orgasm with clitoral stimulation alone; I guess my clitoris is picky. So my vaginal orgasms are very important to me! (And it is definitely nice to be lucky enough to climax during intercourse.)

Every woman's different, and I think this new discovery (news to scientists, not to many women) shows that we should explore and enjoy our own bodies, whether they do the "usual" or scientifically-supported things or not.

Evening Out

I take one last look in the mirror before leaving to pick up my friend Molly for a girls' night out. She is, tragically, straight, but thinking about going out with her always motivates me to dress well. Tonight I've chosen a black skirt that hugs the curves of my hips before flipping out around my knees, a soft and drapey pink top - not low cut, but clingy, and black stiletto pumps. I run my fingers through my hair and check the back view - excellent. Molly won't fully appreciate it, but I'll enjoy looking hot anyway.

As I dash out the door - running late as usual - my cell phone rings. It's Todd.

"Hey sweetie, what's up? I'm on my way to get Molly," I say as I juggle my phone, purse, and keys to open the car door.

"I thought you'd be out carousing already, you naughty girl. You're coming over here afterwards, right?"

"Yeah, I was planning to spend the night at your place since it's close. Do you mind getting a drunk girl delivery?"

"Will it be a drunk horny girl?" I can hear the smile in Todd's voice.

"Might be. Would you like that?"

"Mmm... I think you'd better make sure to be horny, because I'm going to have something for you to take care of," Todd says.

"I'll see what I can do about that," I say. "Now I have to drive. Enjoy your evening!"

"Have a good time," he says. "And don't be TOO naughty."

I smirk and hang up. The evening is certainly guaranteed to end well, if nothing else.

When I arrive at Molly's, she's waiting outside for me. She waves, and I quickly park the car and join her. She looks hot, in a little blue dress and heels. This evening might prove frustrating for me - good thing I have my personal sex slave waiting for me afterwards!

"Any idea where you want to go?" I ask her.

"Well, actually... Remember Pete from the party last month? He said he was going to be hanging out at the place down the street tonight. I was wondering if we could go there."

I'd been looking forward to girls' night, but I can never turn down matchmaking. I love seeing people get together. So I agree, and we head over.

When we get to the bar, Molly spots Pete immediately and makes a beeline in that direction. I follow along a bit more slowly, looking around to see if there's anybody I know so I don't have to be a third wheel already. I don't see anybody, unfortunately. They're already talking by the time I get there, so I offer to go pick up some drinks.

I'm standing at the bar waiting to order, and I gradually become aware that someone is watching me. I glance to my left and see a dark-haired guy looking in my direction. I smile politely and catch the bartender's attention so I can order. When I get my drinks, I turn around counterclockwise so I can see the guy again - he's still watching. And he's kind of hot. He looks like he's deep in thought, and yet I'm sure he's looking at me.

Whatever. I head back to my friends and pass out their drinks. We all stand around and chat, but around the time I finish my drink it's become obvious that I'm a third wheel. I'm feeling kind of playful so I decide to go see if Mr. Dark and Handsome has found anybody else to stare at yet.

I slowly wend my way back towards the bar, thinking about what I'll say if I get up the courage to talk to him. But I can't see him. I look around, but nobody interesting. He must have left. I'm a bit disappointed, but it was probably a stupid idea to go talking to strange men anyway.

Finally I see someone I recognize - not the guy I was looking for, but a couple of acquaintances from work. Excellent, people to talk to without getting in the way of any budding romance. I go up and say hey, and we start chatting. The bar has gotten pretty crowded, but in the press of people I suddenly realize that someone is behind me, pressed gently up against my back. The person feels warm and solid, and I can smell his cologne. I'm such a sucker for a good-smelling man.

I can't resist turning around to see who it is. Oh god - it's the guy who was watching me. He asks, "I'm sorry, am I in your way?"

"Oh no, you're fine," I say. He winks at me and I turn back to my conversation. Gradually he moves closer to me until once again his back is pressed against mine. My world shrinks. All I can focus on is the sensation of him against me. I have to ask my friends to repeat themselves.

I shift my weight so that my ass brushes his - in my heels, I'm not much shorter than he is. A thrill runs through my lower body. I can feel the blood rushing between my legs. It's heavy there, and throbbing. I shift again, and feel the folds of my skin slide against each other, lubricated by the growing wetness.

I feel a touch against my left shoulder blade. Mr. Dark and Handsome has crossed his arms so that he can reach behind him with the tips of his fingers and stroke my back. He touches very gently, but I'm completely focused on it. I feel one finger run up and down my bra strap. He shifts to the right so that he can stroke around the side of my ribcage, an inch from the edge of my breast. I'm breathing heavily now.

My coworker is asking me something. "What? Sorry, I didn't get that," I say.

"Are you OK? You look kind of out of it," she says. I assure her that I'm fine - great, in fact - and she continues, "We're supposed to meet our husbands at another bar, so we have to get moving. You want to come along?"

The pressure against my back deepens.

"No thanks," I say. "I'm kind of tired, so I think I'll get going soon too. I'm going to Todd's after this."

They wish me a good night. Once they've left, I turn around. Those eyes stare into mine. I feel like he knows me. I have no idea what to say. I enjoyed - delighted in - the contact, but I can't go home with him. I start to speak, and he cuts me off with a "shh," bending forward to look into my eyes. I think he understands.

"Before you go," he asks, "may I have your panties?"

This could be ridiculous, but from him it's one of the sexiest things I've ever heard. With an effort, I keep my knees steady. I nod, and walk to the bathroom.

As I walk back, I'm intensely aware of my exposure under my skirt - with no panties, the dripping-wet folds slide back and forth against each other, teasing me with thoughts of touches I won't get.

I walk up to him and slip the panties into his hand. "Thank you," he says, and I turn and go.

...

Outside, I call Todd. "Are you on your way already?" he asks.

"Yes, and guess what?"

"What?"

"I have nothing on underneath my skirt. Be naked and ready for me."

The morning hornies

Todd came over last night for pumpkin pie. I wasn't in a very good mood, so we just watched TV and cuddled, then went to bed.

This morning I woke up enough to move over and drape myself across Todd's body, pillowing my head on his shoulder. I quickly went back to sleep. Apparently the skin-on-skin contact (I always sleep naked, and so does he when we're together) got my subconscious mind going, and I had sexy dreams. We didn't get to consummate in the dreams, just flirted and touched (it was one of those dreams where your intentions are being thwarted).

So I was very happy when I woke up again and remembered that my naked body was pressed against Todd's.

He felt me stirring and told me, "You slept on my shoulder for 45 minutes!"

"I was dreaming about you. Sex dreams."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, but we didn't get to fuck in the dream. So I want to have sex now."

In between kisses I told him how we'd been touching in my dream, and how hot his body is and how excited I was to have it. Soon he flipped me onto my back so that he could suck one nipple while fondling the other. It felt incredible - I was moaning and begging him not to stop. Some day I wear I'm going to come just from having my nipples touched.

"So I hear you were dreaming about being fucked from behind," Todd said. I rolled eagerly onto my front, not sure what he'd do.

He slipped one finger slowly into my pussy, sliding it back and forth to stimulate all the sensitive spots. I whimpered and clutched the edge of the mattress. "I'm doing this with just one finger," he reminded me. He likes me to remember how little he has to work to drive me crazy with desire.

Soon he let another finger drag across my clit, and I yelled "please, please!" He finger-fucked me harder and faster, one finger inside my pussy and the other rubbing my clit. My world was spinning. I had to hang on to the bed; surely I'd float away otherwise.

He leaned over and bit the top of my shoulder, and my orgasm exploded. I tried to muffle my screams in the pillow as my body thrashed with waves of pleasure.

As soon as it was over, I felt an overwhelming need to have him close. I reached frantically behind me, and he helped me roll over so he could lie on top of me. The calm didn't last long. Soon I was nipping at his shoulders and insisting that he bite me again. He complied, and started to finger me again as well. It felt awfully nice, but I really wanted his cock.

I pulled his hand away and insisted that we fuck right now. He teased me a little, but soon his cock was fully inside me, stretching my pussy in every direction and filling me completely. It felt like I was about to orgasm again immediately, but I held on to that feeling for delicious minutes before I came again.

In the few seconds of full-contact cuddling before Todd started thrusting again, I remarked how nice it was to have my own sex slave. "I wake up horny, and I get to demand sex right away. Maybe I should keep you here all the time."

As he started to move in me again, Todd asked what I'd do besides insist on morning sex.

"I'd keep you tied to the bed so I could come in and bite you whenever I wanted," I replied between gasps. "Maybe I would tie your hands above your head, then strip in front of you. You'd have to watch me fondle my nipples and stroke my pussy, without getting off yourself. If you were good, I might let you masturbate afterwards.

"And once in awhile, I'd bring in a friend. You're so good, I have to share." That's what made him explode in my arms.